The Little Island Alamo

Felt restless all week. NY is pretty much open and the weather has been amazing. Getting sleep is impossible because my neighbors have fireworks. I have been stressed out for over a year. This week I just did whatever. Like running to see the Little Island down 14th Street. For some reason people built an island and it’s an architectural marvel. Until Monday I had only seen it on social media, even though it’s in my city and easily accessible. I could take stuff like this for granted before, but now I felt a compulsion to run over and take a look.

It was nice. You should go see it.

Yesterday I went to see a movie. I’ve been running the streets all week and I saw a movie theater on Thursday but the only film I could deal with, Cruella, wasn’t starting for another two hours. Friday I woke up, remembered the Alamo and bought a ticket and preordered a meal (a royale with cheese and a Bloody Mary, so perfect). I just wanted to watch something on a bigass screen, eat food I didn’t cook, and drink cocktails. I had three cocktails, tbh. After the movie I went home and took a nap.

Now I feel a little better. It’s not completely normal, but it’s better than before.


The Week

A WEEK was had that defied logic and had me rethinking my existence. Wtf. I did things and then had to redo them. I made phone calls, decisions were made, then I had to go back and repeat the sequence. I started, stopped, started, stopped. I got up, I worked out, I ate ice cream. I went here, then changed my mind in mid-stride and went there. Then had to retrace my steps anyway. The last 18 days have been a swirl of wtf. I’m confused but I’ve never felt more clear.

Gemini season. 🤭

I am trying and try to organize my apartment. Coming into June, I had it under control and then, BAM!, no control. It’s like my apartment exploded while I slept and I woke up to chaos and violence. I am purchasing the means to order and organization, but somehow messes spontaneously erupts and I am again plunged into chaos. Clothing, shoes, boxes, art supplies, reusable bags, laundry, books… everywhere.


I finally got my spending under control, making credit card payments, saving, investing and June 1st came and for the last 18 days my cards have been hot from swiping and tapping. Sample sales, storage bins, a chrome book, new WiFi plan, tiedye supplies, vintage inventory, food, skincare, knives, laundry, more food, just out of control. Which is why my apartment looks crazy. It’s unnerving. I just hand the card over with no questions. It’s frightening.

I don’t know how to feel right now. I’m just trying to stay alive until July.


The Words

I was at a thrift store in New Jersey and I found this massive dictionary. I don’t need it but I needed it. When I was a little kid, it became apparent to my mom that I had to be sheltered from other kids. I had friends, but I attracted bullies. My mom bought me a massive dictionary, plus three sets of encyclopedias (yes, books) so that I would have the answer to anything at my fingertips without risk of getting chased or beat up. As a result I’m mostly ok pottering around the house on my own. But once people think they can bully you, it never stops. Not even when you’re a grownup.

It’s better to just walk to the library and learn to fight.


The WiFi (part 2)

The WiFi saga continued from last week, including getting locked out of my internet entirely because I was playing with the settings. I nearly gave up on life. Today my unlimited WiFi is back in effect and here comes a blog post.

This morning when I ran out to my second estate sale, conveniently located in Brooklyn. I managed to get all the way there and then remember that I had forgotten cash (apparently the last estate sale adventure didn’t teach me anything) and had to walk six blocks to find an atm. After righting that wrong, I still made it early enough to be in the first batch of people into the (adorable) house. Everything was great except a lady who started screaming because they wouldn’t let her support dog in. Everyone else ran in with eyes averted like little mice, me included.

I went straight to the clothing, and found an actual Armani jacket and a Carolina Herrera beaded camisole. I grabbed some other stuff (Burberry trench, a La Perla robe, the pants to go with the CH top and what may have been a vintage linen dress with no label) with hope in my heart and headed down the (lovely and enviable) stairs to get some financial perspective before continuing to shop. I had made sure not to take too much money out, so for what I had in my overall pocket I got two pieces. I’m sure if I had argued I could have gotten a little more off but in light of the labels and the condition of the pieces, I know I was getting my money’s worth. They’re gorgeous… and worth more than I paid.

So a tense and scary week turned into fruitful and productive day. Next week is facing my tax bill and other grown up tasks but for right this minute, watching Clueless, with three gadgets running and a bunch of tabs open.

Life is good.

For now.