dating, Fashion, relationships, self confidence

The Man

So when I went on my background acting gig I met this guy. And I was kind of annoyed, because this always happens to me. I go somewhere on a single lady mission and quickly attract a loser. Ok, maybe loser is unfair. I’m not that great of a catch myself. But I do often attract time wasting men that view me as non-threatening, low hanging fruit. That’s my life.

It wasn’t always like that, though. I guess technically I’ve done ok. I had some nice boyfriends, got married and divorced. So it’s not like it was all bad. But I was a different person then, and looking back I know I never found what I wanted because I didn’t know how to define or look for it. You can’t get what you can’t identify. And I still can’t define what I want so I attract … nothing. Human blanks looking for a meaningless good time. I have no image in my head or heart to guide me towards whoever I’m supposed to be with.

Also, I’m just finally getting a feel for who I am post COVID. I get that other people are bored and lonely and looking to hook up, but I don’t want anyone sweating up my new, expensive mattress. I don’t want to cook for anyone (the other day I made cheesy rice and it was basic and common and delicious), and I don’t want to suffer through anyone else’s cooking. I don’t want to dress up or wear makeup or do anything with my hair. I like being ugly and unstylish. It’s too hard to try to be anything else now.

I can’t see myself getting all excited to go date. I will puke if I have to act cultured. I did all of that shit for years and it didn’t make me happy and nobody cared. It’s not perfect being alone; you pay all the bills and there’s no one to rub your feet, but I’m getting good at taking care of things. I’m not ready for dating or even friendship. I’m just ready for me. That’s good enough right now.


lifestyle

The Problem

Celebrating the end of the first quarter of 2021

This is the best month I’ve had in a year. It was almost pre-COVID stellar. I got a lot of freelance merchandising work, I got a background acting gig, my business was featured three times on different sites, I joined clubhouse, I tested negative for COVID-19 twice. I found a new dentist and a new doctor that take my insurance. I’m ending the first quarter of the year with savings, and my side hustle performed admirably with very little effort from me. My evil ass family is thriving, and I’m happy about it. I am adulting the hell out of 2021. But let me complain about the one thing that’s holding me back; my procrastination problem.

I procrastinate so much that it scares me a little. I don’t even make excuses, I just don’t do things in a timely fashion. I’m always late for work because I don’t want to get out of bed and when I do I dawdle over things like which socks to wear. They are just socks. I don’t finish things because I have no sense of urgency. I still haven’t finished the painting job I started in the living room and bathroom. I clean up, but then leave a pile of papers on the table… even though the filing cabinet is right next to the table. I have items that need to be listed and they are piled on my mini backdrop with the light set up and they have been there all month.

I keep making promises to myself that I’ll fix it, I make lists to fix it, I yell at myself to fix it and then I lie down on the bed and don’t fix it. I tried to exercise every week? The mat is out, the exercise clothes are on the mat and I have very delicately stepped over them for weeks. I sweep the floor and sweep right around the mat like I’m scared to move it. Wtf? It’s not right. I’m putting it on my blog hoping that the magic blogger fairy will see it and sprinkle some magic through the internet to solve my problem. I’m still chugging along, still functioning, but it’s like a cog has slipped somewhere and I don’t work as quickly or efficiently as I used to.

I read that fear of failure can cause procrastination and that sounds about right.


Accessories, beauty, Fashion, footwear, fragrance, Glasses, haircare, makeup, MBFW, Photography, Sassy Ethnic Bohemian, Style

the reality of MBFW, the sassy perspective of things.

So, as we may have figured out, I am a person who loves fashion but stil remembers that I am a flesh and blood person. maybe because I worked behind the scenes as a student and had some actual experience in how shows and events are put together, I’m not as bowled over as other people. Or maybe I’m now a jaded new Yorker (again). In any case- I loved loved loved knowing that I had a right to go to some shows, but I also had some other concerns.

Like how not to sweat through whatever I was wearing. (Massive, nasty, humid, HEAT WAVE for ss2015 NYFW/MBFW *historical notation)

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The first festivity was the Befohr party at the Jimmy Lounge at the James Hotel in Soho- which you guys already read an account of here. The reality is spending the evening wanting to go swimming, then heading home on the subway and window shopping on Nostrand Avenue when the train dumps you out on Flatbush (3 stops from where you need to be). This bag is to die, isn’t it? Love.

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This is me out at the table burning the hell up, but determined to gauge customer reaction to the addition of mauby to the table menu. I even offered free tastes. I sold a few, then ran home to glue myself together to go to Lincoln center for the Desigual ss2015 show (we already reviewed that here). SOOOOO happy to get a little glamor in my life, lol! Woo hoo!nyfwrecap3

I managed to get into this striped Daisy Fuentes for Kohl’s dress (which I had wanted since I saw it at the Fall Press Preview). I wore some cool pieces from Shop Jacqueline Rose (the illumination hand chain, the green oasis bracelet, and the black buddha mala for prosperity), and I made sure to carry my ParMana Designs Dream Awake shoulder bag. I love carrying things from people I know and like. It’s like having friends with me.

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After the show, there’s a mad rush- some towards the front row celebs, some trying to get backstage and some (like me) trying to go get some free beverages. These are just little moments that struck me on the way out. Nothing amazing, just images that brought things back down to a human persepctive after watching Adriana Lima bounce down the runway.

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I was photographing the SK-II installation and wondering if I could grab a bottle and run, when they offered to do something or other to my skin. As soon as I knew that there was a present involved I went for it. It was nice! The lady took my photo with some kind of tablet (it was a cute pic, wish I still had it, actually) and told me nice things about my skin. Then she gave me an SK-II pitera essence mask which I am still hoarding. I liked it, so if I have a sudden attack of aging, I’m set.

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Then I just wandered around getting things. I got a card from the Papyrus kiosk (same guy as last year, but I guess the better location went to his head. He didn’t let me pick my card this season. he was nicer when he was way in the back and nobody paid attention to him). I checked out the Pandora spot, grabbed a bunch of reading material, stopped to gawk at the E! television set, and gawped over the pretty lit up dress on the Mercedes Benz stage. And thanks to the nice girl at Tresemme with the shiny hair who gave me the whole product spiel. I heart you!

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After that I did a little streetsyle. I was back to skulking, it’s too hard to approach people at the tents and I wasn’t really that interested- I just wanted t make sure I had a few things for the blog. A lady had on a silver foil pleated skirt that was like ice in the sun.

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Then I went to the Met Opera Shop and picked up schedules for the new season. So many things I’d like to see! I haven’t been to the opera in a while- but check out my first visit here. I made sure to take a few photos of the fountain, and all the stuff I got. I know a lot of people don’t care about ‘the perks of blogging’, but I’m a results oriented person who needs rewards. Sorry. Also, I give stuff away. But for real- if they didn’t give me anything to keep… lol! my greedy ass would prob stay home. And people who say they don’t care are lying.

The next day I took my Desigual wallet/clutch to McDonald’s for my morning wi-fi and breakfast break.

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This is me the next day, back at my table. I’m wearing my fave BDG tshirt (cleavage looks perfs in it) as well as my usual bracelets and my new favorite skirt ever from Life is good. See that face? Fashion withdrawal. This was the last day I sat outside selling anything because MBFW makes everything else look small boring, and ugly by comparison. I don’t hate my business and I’m glad I spent the summer doing it, but now I felt like I needed to do better. Bigger. PRETTIER! Later.nyfwrecap96

I couldn’t wait to go to the Katty Xiomara show at Nolcha Fashion Week (see my review). I found a cute little lingerie shop to keep in mind for later, and after the show got some cool skincare samples from Adrian London. There was some moisturizer for men, but the boo doesn’t do skincare (yet.) so I’ve been using it on my hands and feet.

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After the skincare was secured (and an otter box iphone case which we may be discussing soon- shhhh! giveaway! shhhh!) it was time for drinkies. I got a Dasani and Don Q rum cocktail, a glass of sparkling (delicious) rose from Franciacorta, and some sorrel wine from Bellaforma. After that I was straight. Strolled home with my nose in the air, too cute for the rest of the world. Yep. I said that.

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I had a few days to rest and then I got an amazing invite from Red Door Spas to go BACKSTAGE (you guys heard all about this already… in 3 parts).  It was insane, and fun, and I got so many photos! It was the best.

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I had one last invitation, from a small designer named Indigo Apparel. I got myself together- but MBFW was over so… I did my super casual journalist look: Life is good plush terry sweatshirt. LL Bean true shape jeans, armful of pretties and my black buddha mala necklace. Threw on my Freeport field jacket and slouchy floral backpack for fun- even though it was still a little hot.

nyfwrecap991Ran for the train, made into the city, saw this amazing view from the top of the Empire Hotel– and then went home. It was crazy crowded, no one knew where or when the show was starting, and well- no open bar? Hmm.

I gotta go.

Next up: In which I go to Shake Shack with my little brother (Yes.) Stay tuned!

xoxo, Faith/Sassy Ethnic Bohemian